i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
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