just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
