just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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