Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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