at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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