Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
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