Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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