I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Randomize
