Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Randomize
