all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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