The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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