If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
