I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
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