Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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