Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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