just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
