i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Randomize
