We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
