oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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