I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
