Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Randomize
