I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
