i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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