remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
