I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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