I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
