Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
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