That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
