hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
