She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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