she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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