I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
