He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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