STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
