no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
