We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
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