32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
