Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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