I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
A bitchslap is in order.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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