I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Randomize
