Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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