Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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