none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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