Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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