Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Barsexuality is the new black.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
