1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
