i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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