no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
