I'm going to rape someone's good day.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
