Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
