Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
We're using joints as your birthday candles
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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