I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
