Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
