i just had sex bonerless
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Is it penis luge time yet?
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
